Guess Who's Back?

07/17/2022

Hello my lovelies! It's been quite some time again. I am so terribly sorry for the silence. Life has been kicking my ass since at least September of last year. I'm hoping things improve soon.

I have missed everyone. After my non-diagnosis, I sort of spiraled out of control. Christmas was hard, because my family has a collective trauma around my grandmother's death a week before Christmas in 2016... And since her death, a lot of the responsibilities for Christmas has fallen on my shoulders... I've since taken over the cooking and planning and sometimes even coming up with, and wrapping all the gifts... 

My birthday in January this year was fun, but still ended up having some drama, which should have never happened. And then shortly after that, my mom's dog died. He was only 8, and she and my dad were on vacation, so when the call was made that he wasn't going to survive and we had to put him down, I was there in the vet's office petting him and telling him he was a good boy while he passed... It was... Traumatic... And I definitely cried off and on for at least 6 weeks... 

April was busy because that's when most of my family has their birthdays... April / early May time frame. This is also when a quick plumbing job in my house turned out to be a huge bathroom remodel due to problems in the walls... (It's now July and my bathroom is still under construction!)

And then in May, my dog had to have surgery to remove some bumps on her. She's had cancer before, so the vet wanted to do it sooner rather than later. All of them were benign except one, which was a mast cell tumor. The vet says she should be fine, even though mast cell tumors are typically a death sentence for dogs... The difference supposedly is that we caught it super early, and her blood labs are coming back normal. I'm still trying not to worry about her, but I will. I don't know if I can handle losing her on top of losing my mom's dog. I think I will be completely devastated again if that happens. 

May was a hard time for me because I also caught covid! I was very sick, and in bed for basically 6 weeks. Complete weakness in my body, loss of smell, and change of taste (which hasn't returned to normal all the way), high temperature fevers off and on... I ended up having to get an expensive steroid inhaler because I was coughing so much and my lungs and chest were hurting so bad for so long...

July has mostly just been trying to catch up from being sick for so long, and returning to the land of the living... Speaking of returning...

I am trying to return to the land of Skyrim!!! I was in the middle of changing computers when Anniversary Edition dropped, and I got super overwhelmed and scared that it was going to affect mod building. But I'm finally feeling better about it, and I'm planning on installing Skyrim this week.

I am so excited... I've had some inquiries about fixing some bugs in my mods over the months. So I will try to work on those, and resume work on the Falkreath Expansion, and Dawnstar House that I started... After that, I have also joined a group to work on a custom voiced follower mod, mostly helping with the story writing, and possibly any houses or buildings that need done for it. 

All in all, I'm just really ready to get back to Skyrim. I missed her and I missed having that creative outlet. I'm ready to dive back in!!! I hope you all have been hanging in there. I'd love to chat with any of you while I work. Feel free to reach out to me on discord.